Carol's corner

When you're living in drama........LOL!!! It's been a while cause it's hard to get online when you're a single parent of three and someone dumps something on your laptop. It's working again (duh) but at the same time it no longer turns off or has a question mark key that works. On to other things. I'm a certified Barista now. YIPPEE!! Cookie turns one on Saturday.....yup this Saturday. Peter isn't home still and that's okay. He's getting help for his alcohol abuse and he's getting his head in a good place. I need that for him. I love him too much to see him suffering so much. I'm getting my stuff in order too. Seeing a therapist of my own to work on my own issues and all the fun stuff that is involved in being a mom...you know...never ending laundry etc etc.......... Other than that, I'm alive and still enjoying life. Could it be better...yup you betcha, but am I coping well.......you know it. One day soon it won't be a do...

I'm tired. Absolutely bone tired. I spent the day yesterday with friends Mary and Holly (HI GALS!) at the berry farm just to the North and East of Toronto. Four hours of following my rats around the joint. It was fun and hot and sunny and I'm a little crispy. Today my mom took pity on my overworked self and took all three (yes the baby too) up to see my sister. I've been moving ever since. All I really want to do is sit and read or better yet, nap, but I've got so much to do that I can't do during the week...well lets face it, I'm overworked and way underpaid. I've got a HUGE puddle downstairs, so much that I'm wondering if something backed up from the drains. I've never seen so much down there. It took me almost an hour just to get that under control, then the laundry, and the picking up toys, and the sweeping and the...well you get it. I need a vacation.

One Week................you know that song from the Bare Naked Ladies. The one that hit it huge for them? Well it's been a week here too but I haven't hit it big. Oh don't get me wrong, there were big hits involved, but none of them were good ones. Last week Peter decided he'd held off on beating as long as he could and went for it. I think he forgot that I outweigh him, and I'm no wilting flower that will fold at the first sign of a fist. I fought back and I know I won. Police involved, hospital visits for him and it's now one week later. Yesterday I had my visit with the Catholic Childrens Aid Society. It went okay I guess. How can anything be okay with the CCAS huh? She gave me a ton of things to think about and made me realise even more than ever that I've done the right thing. I will always love him, but I don't know that he'll ever be healthy enough to be back in our lives, but I still love him. He is the man who gave me my most beau...

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Well I've done four complete training shifts...and I still love it!!!! I've settled myself into the role as wiper and swiper...lol!!! I also rock the brewed coffee stand like nobody else! I did a couple Cap's and Latte's yesterday. I need to get over my fear of the milk foaming out over the lip and scalding me. I've been told more than once that it's not that hot and would probably only tan me sooooooo..........weeeeeeeeeeee!!! I've decided that I was honestly made for this job. Oh yah, I'm not a Starbucks Employee.....I'm a PARTNER! How cool is that? We are all considered partners cause you have the option to have "Bean Stock" purchases taken from your pay every week. LOVE IT! I totally laughed out loud when I heard Bean Stock. I love my work and have a renewed love for my kids. I love them all to death, but being away from them for a few hours every day, well, lets just say that when I come home I'm happy to be "just...

I hung with some friends from SCS the other day up at Bellaland. OMG it was so much fun! I got to hang with some of the ROCKSTARS in the Stamping world. JanTink...HELLO??? THE JAN TINK!!!!!! OMG! And you know what? She was awesome and sweet and so down to earth! I poked her arm so maybe some of the talent will travel up my finger into the rest of me. Linda, Laura, Mary, Paula, Pauline and of course Emily and Nicky.....wayyyyyyyyyyy fun! Wanna see some shots? I didn't get many cause like I said I was having too much fun......lol! I was so inspired that I came home and started colouring some images and it came out NOTHING like theirs.......soooooooooooooooooooooo I have some more practicing to do...LOL!!! Don't forget I start STARBUCKS on MONDAY!!! Can you tell I'm a little excited? No? Well just wait till after my first day and I've been sucking back all those wonderful espresso drinks all day long.....lol!! Till then!

Finally!!!! I start work on Monday the 25th of August. Yup, me, working again, OUTSIDE the house and getting paid for it! Starbucks finally realized that I'm the missing link in their chain and hired me! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Now if you know me at all you know I'm a coffee freak and a Starbucks hound so it's like the mothership calling me home.... I've also been moving stuff down into the basement even though it's still very wet down there most of the time. At this point, I can't keep going on with things the way they are so poopoo to the mushrooms and the lake that forms in the front room when it rains (which is practically every dang day) I've been down there daily doing laundry and have managed to get into my space and play with my stuff. Nothing that I'm willing to share, but it is nice to get to put ink to rubber then to paper again. Thanks for crossing fingers, eyes, toes or whatever it was that was crossed to make at least one of my hope...

Never in my life have I laughed as hard so early in the morning...... Bored again, I sit at my computer and start taking stupid quizzes and get this result. Carol will have to write: I will stop muttering death threats under my breath 'What will you have to write on the chalk board?' at QuizGalaxy.com What can I say, they have me pegged............snort!

First off, I need to get more creative with my post titles. Second, My baby boy turned three on the 18th. Yes I said THREE! Where the heck did time run off to? Here he is with his mandatory "how many fingers are you" picture. Can you see what his shirt says? How true can that be. We spent the day with friends playing our Wii and laughing. After we went to Nana's place for dinner and "party" and did the gifts. He's such a ham it's funny. He not only constantly makes me laugh, but he makes everyone who meets him love him completely. Yes I'm a proud momma. Yesterday we spent the day with my grandma. She's never met the baby yet so it was important to me that she does. Grandma is getting up there in the years and is starting to have issues. Blessed that we are she's been here as long as she has so far, but I don't think she'll be here much longer. We hung out, did some shopping and errands and just played. You can see again that my monk...

I hope you enjoy your day today....Sucks that we're all too broke to do anything really fun, but we'll all be together at least! Love you more than you know. I'm glad you're still here with us after that nasty scare.

My mom is okay. She came home on Thursday. She's a nutcase and I'm glad she's home. I'm riding her about those meds cause if she screws up like this again....well we just won't go there huh? My best friends husband had a heart attack on Monday too. Like I didn't have enough worry in my world, add that one to the bunch. He is doing fine as well, had a blockage and was easily removed and he's home. Her life is worse than mine cause he's more stubborn than my mom and refuses to admit he has to curb his less than healthy lifestyle now. Men are all alike in that way huh? Was at the zoo yesterday with a friend from years ago. We had a blast. Bittersweet to see someone so happy being a father and husband. Yes, Peter was nowhere to be found and this is actually his friend from grade one...yup, love my life and all those in it... Either way, onward and upward. The job at Starbucks is gone, I've applied at another place and hopefully I'll have b...

My mom is ill. Seriously ill. She's in the ICU out in Colbourg. Apparently she had an infection that got out of control and now she has Sepsis. Do yourself a favour and DON'T GOOGLE IT!!! Google is a wonderful thing in life when you need some information, but when you're looking up medical information.....well it just scares the pooh out of ya. The last thing I googled before this was the spider I killed in my basement and let me tell you that was a mistake too, thing is bad mojo...... Mom is on IV fluids and antibiotics, we're hoping it was caught in time to knock it down. Did I mention that Sepsis can be fatal if not caught early enough................................

Forced cold turkey withdrawls.......could be worse I guess. I could be more than tired and headachy. Maybe this is a good thing to get off the happy drugs. Maybe my time on antidepresents has come and gone. After all, it's been four and a half years since I started them. Dad's anniversary passed this year with no tears so hopefully I've gotten over it? Who knows. In odd related news...my ex's dad passed on Peters birthday. I'm not sure if there is a meaning for that, but George was always my advocate in that relationship so it hurts a little that he's gone, not that I've seen him at all in the past 15 years... Either way, I need to get in gear and get rid of the flipping mouse who is making my life a misery...stinking brown fatty living behind my stove, I'll get you, don't you worry..............

Has touched my life a few times in the past. Distant people in my family or friends of friends... This time she has a name and a face that I love. One of my dear friends Angie was diagnosed not too long ago and has already had her double Mastectomy. She's younger than me. I want to do the walk. The Princess Margaret Weekend to End Breast Cancer. Will you help? I have those sweet little bracelets, they say Mothers, Sisters, Daughters, Friends. I'm selling them for $5 each. I'm trying to figure out other ways to raise funds...if I had more clients, I would host a crop or card making day and give my proceeds to this. I suppose I can ask some peeps that I know to sponsor me...just so frustrating. Even more frustrating is that Angie is so far away and I can't be with her as she starts her Chemo. I'm holding her hands with mine in my heart and I know she can feel it...

Okay, now that I know I have a reader....I promise I'll get blogging more often. Hey I might even remember to take pictures of my cards before I send them off on their merry way........LOL!!! Thanks to my awesome up-upline for the team meeting. I love my coaster ;)

In a moment of frustration and desperation, I sent off an email to Mike Holmes of the TV show begging for rescue from my home. Apparently not only did I offend and anger my wonderful friend and her husband, but I damaged my husband as well. Even though the email itself was benign in that I never once blamed my contractor for the problem, just the fact that I sought outside help was the issue. I spent last night tossing and turning, wondering why I've been so constantly slammed. Have I offended someone higher up and they're paying me back? Have I done something so horribly wrong in a past life that I'm being punished in this one? Why is it that I can't ever do anything right other than birth my babies? Apparently I can't even raise them correctly or they wouldn't talk back to me, draw on walls or break the new TV set. How much longer must I be on suicide watch for others and myself? How bad is this life that I'm not the only one in it thinking death ...

You may be exhausted with work, you may even kill yourself, but unless your work is interwoven with love, it is useless. To work without love is slavery. Mother Teressa

In my world that is. I was down in my still unfinished basement (ran out of money) putting stuff away and I noticed this funny looking blob. Interesting huh? Forget the stains on the floor for a minute, the last peeps were pigs and just look at the loveliness of this wonderful little blob....I think I'll call him Fred. Then I noticed that Fred has some friends....... So at this point in time, I come back upstairs to google mushrooms growing in my basement. After reading so much information and basically crying my eyes out, I go and get the De-humidifyer only to be surprised by some more friends...Yup you guessed it. The unfinished washroom has a bunch of Fred's cousins or friends or whomever they are and they're having a party. Those little funky blobs all along the wall are his buddies. Unwelcome guests seem to be a theme in this house. Ants, huge hairy spiders, racoons, squirrels.......you name it they've invaded. I think we have a skunk living here somewhere too ...

ओम्ग वहत इस व्रोंग विथ ब्लॉगर टुडे???????????????

Huge changes in my world. So much that I'm still off kilter. The long lost sister found us, Peter is spending money like water, and I'm sinking deeper and deeper into my depression. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I hardball, it changes for a few days then right back. Threatening doesn't do anything because he knows they are hollow...I'm so lost it's pathetic. I'm so broke it's almost criminal. I worry on a daily basis about providing for my kids, forget me, my kids need milk, food and diapers. I've been putting out resumes, but no nibbles. I'm gonna go back to my first choice and stalk the Manager. Maybe if I tell him how badly I want to work there......pathetic I know. That in itself brings a whole heap of new problems. The added expense of formula for munchkin.........sigh again....... Someone stop the ride please? I don't like it anymore.

Good to know I'm worth something.....lol $4790.00 The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth.

TESTING TESTING...............lol

So this year Easter is the earliest it's been in forever. Next time it will be this early is 22hundred something so maybe my grandkids grandkids lifetime??? Life on the home front is different lately...not good, not bad just different. I laid it all out like I intended. It got nasty, it got ugly and it got bad. Very cathartic if you ask me (and since I read this, I'm asking) Since then we've hit a plateau where shits not hitting the fan, but it does have potential too.......sigh....... Other than that...I've come clean with my demons, open and honest right? Can't fix it if I'm hiding shit. I'm gonna start pressing buttons again to make things happen. Promises were made and I see no movement. I want more. I need to get a job. I don't want to really, not that I don't want to work, I just don't wanna leave my baby at such a young age and I kind of love being home with them. We need the money and I need the break. I'm with them 24/...

You know that feeling in the morning when you open your eyes to the sun? I don't anymore. My life is revolving around my kids and my marriage and so far I'm getting sucked down into a hole. I don't mean to say that my kids are killing me, just that I'm allowing the negative to bring me into a place where I don't want to be. For so long, I've bent over backwards and twisted myself around to be someone I'm not for an impossible person. Every change I've made isn't good enough or the correct one. How can I parent properly when I don't like myself anymore? Strong statement yes, but painfully true. I have made some hard decisions about the direction I need to be facing not only for my kids, but for my mental health too. I hope that someday, my children will look at me with nothing but pride and admiration for the choices I'm about to make instead of fear and disgust for what I allowed. I deserve more. My children deserve BETTER. I can and will sac...

Forgive me self...testing ouy new photo editing software and watermark...lol

I've turned over a new leaf...so to speak. I'm trying to get out of my creative box. I have absolutely no style of my own in my opinion other than fast and easy. Not that there is anything wrong with that...just wanna up my ante. See what you think... This card was made using Embrace Life from the new Stampin' Up! Spring/Summer catalogue. I adore the slight Asian flair to this and I guess that's where the black/red combo came from. I'm not sure if I like the white, but I don't have any gold ink that actually stays visible on black, nor do I have a red that will show so white it is. I used the Gatefold rather than the regular fold. That means this opens in the middle of the card, but I guess you can get that from the pic. Cardstock is SU in Real Red and Basic Black. I plan on making more of an effort to get crafty on a more regular basis. I have all this stuff and I'm actually starting to feel guilty (gasp) that it sits there gazing at me from the diningr...

Family Day..... So yesterday was Family Day here in Ontario. A new holiday designed to give a family more time together as a family. Funny thing is, not all companies recognized this new day and therefore not all companies gave everyone the day off... P had his off but being the person I am, I let him stay home while I took the kids with my sisters kids and my mom to the ROM. O M G! HUGE amounts of people! Granted I've not been to the ROM since I was in highschool but geez the last time I was there it was mostly dead. The new section that juts out over Bloor street is a maze to make any rat go insane. Naturally this is where they put the Dinos...and yes my monkeys HAD to see them. Even with the crush of peeps, my guys did awesome and I'm such a proud momma that my boy even squeeled with delight when he saw the terrible T-Rex (everyone's fav) We wandered around the rest of the ROM when we found our way out of the maze, visiting Egypt (Mummies) then Greece (where my ...

I'm better now. Guess it's the combo of winter blues and an unexpected shock.... I'm back to crafting again too. Been working hard on stamping so that come warmer weather I can start pimping more...lol Here are some of my newer things. This one is made using two new stamp sets from the Spring Summer Catty. One of a Kind and Boho Backgrounds. All supplies are SU! Kind of boring to me, but it's a start right? this one is the same Boho background but with a big Prima Flower on the side. The flower center i s from the new Boho Blossoms Punch. Next we have two using the same stamps and colours...LOL!!! I got out my Sale-A-Bration sets and went wild with them. I also used rub-ons from SAB for the sentiments. Hopefully I'll be back more often as I'm making an effort to use up some of my "toys" Stamping really does make me happy. As much as I wish I could sit down and scrap my kids again, right now I have neither the space or the time. Soon right? The bas...

Who would have thought that a death of someone you didn't even personally know could send you into a spiral? Heath Ledger died around 3pm on the 22 of January, 2008. I loved him as an actor and loved what I could see of him as a person in interviews and on gossip sites. He seemed such a wonderful and down to earth person. Doting daddy to his daughter. I thought that the Death of Princess Diana was a stunner for me, the JFK of our time, but this had hit me hard and so much worse. I can't explain why it bothers me so much. Is it because he was only 28? So talented as an actor? Young child at home? It does bother me that there are so many nasty things going around on the net about it all, that he was depressed and the home was strewn with pills, suggesting that he did this intentionally. It bothers me that the "news media" felt it appropriate to show footage of his body being removed from his home. I think that in the past few years the paps have gotten complete...