Carol's corner

I'm tired of being so down all the time. I need to find a life that makes me happy. I'm struggling to stay upwards. I need more from life. I had a delivery guy whom I adore in a not so platonic way come in to the store today and flirt with me a little bit. We didn't have a delivery. He just saw I was working while on a delivery next door and came in to say hi. It made me so happy. I need to feel alive. I need to find joy in my life again. Starting today

I hurt. I did something stupid and now I'm hurt. Horribly hurt. Why am I so hurt? I knew he says bad things about me. I shouldn't find it shocking, but I guess reading it is something different. Reading him trying to flirt with an old flame is painful. I thought we were finally getting somewhere. I thought he was turning a corner. Was it all a ruse to crush me further? It worked. I'm again reminded that I'm overweight. Painfully so. I'm reminded that he would be happier if I was thinner. Fine. I'll get thinner and walk super fast elsewhere. Point to him...