Carol's corner

It's taken me over a year to do it, but I did it finally. It is cleaning out my porch. The porch has always been Peter's domain. He would sit out there for hours smoking and drinking. When he left last year in March, I had some friends come over and take out the stinky smelly sofa bed that was out there. That was my first step. I replaced the ouside stairs and the porch door so it now locks. That was step two. A few weeks back, I spent a couple hours out there cutting down cardboard so I could have the recycling guys take it all. I put it out last week so it's gone. That was step three. Today I came home from work, checked my email and then headed out to the porch. I loaded up two garbage bags of all the junk that Peter had been hoarding for whatever reason. I pulled out the Vacuum and cleaned the indoor/outdoor carpeting. I moved all the remaining stuff around so it's nice and clean. Step four. I am so proud of myself. I was sweating buckets be

I've had enough. I've had more than my share of being told I'm stupid. I'm done with being told I'm fat. I'm over my children being treated like less than they are. All of this because he ditched his own kids for fathers day. He promised them that he would take them for the weekend. He didn't answer the phone again. He waited till Wednesday to call and pretend nothing happened. I called him on it. I told him that he's being a dick. Life doesn't revolve around him only anymore and hasn't since we had our first kid. I told him that his children will grow to hate him and it will not be my fault. For this I've had suicide threats, threats of quitting his job so I'm forced out of my home and more. I've been called a hippo............. Why do I still love him? Why do I look for the man I married in this monster? Why am I doing this to myself still? I need to be strong. I need to take my own advice instead of just ha