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Showing posts from December, 2010

Fault and Blame

I play this game constantly. I hear from Peter how it's all my fault and I'm to blame for all teh evils in our "relationship". Okay, gotcha. Tell me what it was that set you off? Silence. He won't tell me if I don't know. It just goes to prove that I don't listen to him obviously. I'm so introverted and self centered that I can't see what is right in front of my face.....right........... My take on it? He realized that he's a major fucking asshole and he's scrambling to find blame in anyone other than himself, again. It's never his fault right? He's the prodigal son. He's perfect. He does no wrong. Never has, never will. This is acording to him and his whole fucking family. So.........if it's not his fault, it must be mine. Follow? I'm not sure if I do either. It is what it is. Lawer on speed dial. I will get it in writing and on record and forget living in fear of him not paying the bills, or not paying th

Whatever

I had such high hopes. He picked us. He stood up to his family and told them he would spend the holidays with us. And then he drank. Christmas Eve was picking at me, telling me that everything is still my fault and I should just accept it. Oh and getting the kids to all baby talk because he knopws it drives me fucking insane... Christmas was more drinking followed by not eating and then shattering my corning ware cause "it slipped" from his hands. I should thank my lucky stars that it didn't slip at me huh? He got pissy because I cleaned the mess up. Somehow that's offensive. Boxing Day is a study in ignoring him. Too bad he won't leave me alone and picks at me by his very presence in my space. I try to escape only to be followed into whatever room I'm hiding in. I just needed a moment alone to regroup and settle my mind. Today is silent so far but only because he's just woken up. I'm sure I'll catch hell because I've drunk all the co