Carol's corner

One week off to get my kids back into school routine and I'm dead on my feet! Now I remember why I got the job, it was for a break. I went to Rona today and blew some money on some cute storage tables for the basement. The stamp sets that I have mostly fit in them, but I only got about half done before my mom had to leave and I had to get the kids from school. Once I get myself more organized down there I'll feel a ton better cause then maybe I can either use or sell the stuff that I have. K, running away cause I have to start dinner!

For one. My first child started grade one today. I still can't figure out where the time went to. I mean wasn't it just yesterday that we had her? How did she get to be such a beautiful big girl going off to school for her first all day year... The boy on the other hand starts on Thursday. They stagger the starts for the JK's so they aren't all rushing in at once crying and freaking out and all of that mess. I feel for the teacher cause she knows him, but doesn't have full Eric exposure...LOL!!! I took this week off of Starbucks so I could try to routine them and all that crap. Speaking to a co-worker, I'm glad I did cause the highschool kids were out in fine form today as usual. They tossed one of our pieces of artwork out onto the street after being told to move from the door or get the hell out... Yup, this is a well to do area highschool. Nice. Either way I'll be back at the grind on Monday and life will go on. Mwah to Mary!

Cookie was to have her dental surgery the first day of school...they called me Friday and now we're going in on Tuesday. I'm freaking out. I know that she'll be fine, but I still panic about her having no front teeth. Will she have falsies or will they leave her gummy....omg I can't take it! On a positive note, the new store manager has now decided that I need to be a shift supervisor. She's told me that she's not taking no for an answer and she will work around my schedule to make it possible. More responsibility and more money...I think I can take it.

Where did summer go? I mean I know I've been busy with work and everything but geez! We did our pre-op doctor appointment for Courtney, she's gonna have dental surgery on the first day of school..yah nice planning mommy...lol. Eric doesn't start until the Thursday so all is well I hope. Other than that, I'm freakin exhausted! The kids are still sneaking into the bed in the middle of the night and I wake up in agony cause I can't move and can barely breathe because they are all squished in on me. I know I know, suck it up now while I can cause they won't want me forever, but god I'm in pain and tired........ Enough whining, I'm gonna try to sneak them into bed early........shhhhhhhhhhhhh.....don't let them know.

I'm alive and kicking. Notice I didn't say Alive and Well. Kids are good, work is good, the rest........meh...... I find myself in this horrid loop of sober and drunk again. The sober days are amazing and the drunk days, well you know. I've asked and begged and demanded and nothing helps. He refuses to see himself as an alcoholic thanks to AA. WTF?? AA showed him the wonders of the DT's and all the ugliness of long term alcoholizm and now he decides it's not him afterall. What about the fact that one person alone can kill 12 in one day, that's a drunk. The need to have beer every day, that's a drunk. The fact that one often calls in sick to work, but it's really hungover, that's a drunk. Fuck you AA. Fuck you large. I've been dropped as a SU demo, but I think I'm gonna go for the mini kit this week cause I want to. I've also found some peeps who will buy my craft. Isn't it poetic that now that I'm finally over it aft

Can I confess to a busy crazy life. Between work and kids I can barely find my bum most of the time. Wait, that's not true, my bum is on the ample side so I can usually find it pretty easily soooooooooooooooo. I'm hangin in still. Peter is almost at the moving back home place. I'm not sure if I'm ready yet though. I mean I want him home so badly it hurts, but at the same time, he's still drinking so do I really want him back here when it can all go to shit in a second again, not so sure. The kids and I have settled into our new "roles" as single mom and kids and we're doing pretty okay if I do say so myself. Money is almost never there, but the bills are paid and that's what matters right. We'll survive either way. Stamping, I'm still at it a little. I have a small group (3 ladies) who I teach once a month. They don't listen to me mostly, do their own thing with my designes, but it's money in my pocket and eventually they&

Just swamped under a mountain of laundry, piles of dishes and poopy undies and diapers as I try to train the boy... Starbucks is still sustaining me and all things that are good and normal. CCAS is still harrassing me and Peter is still not home. He's getting there. He is in classes weekly for anger management, AA and all the other things his lawyer deems needed. Either way, I don't see my life returning to normal any time soon.....sigh...........

LOL!! I got an email today from Mary telling me I need to come and update. Here I am! I'm still on the roller coaster. Court days come and gone, lather rinse and repeat. We finally got him visiting the kids, then finally got the orders changed so he can have contact with me and that's the situation as of now. Life continues. I single parent my kids and my mom. Starbucks keeps me sane. I've found myself picking up old crafts in my hours of need...I've begun to knitt again and finally after years of trying have learned to crochet. My aunt would be so proud of me. On another note, it's been almost five years since I lost my dad. Strangely I've been missing him again. He was never a prince among men so I can't figure it out. Next Friday will be the day. Exactly the day. He died on Friday February 13th 2004. Maybe that's it. Cause it's Friday the 13th again....either way, it will come and I will cry and life will continue... Till we speak