Happy Easter!
It's funny how time can change people. I've mostly severed contact as I said I would. For my sanity and security as well as for my children. They need to learn that abusive behaviour isn't cool and will not be allowed in our family. Things are mostly quiet now because of the refusal of mine to reach out again and try to make it work as a family. I will reach out and provide amounts for bills, I will reach out and provide transport to go grocery shopping or get hair cuts if I'm going anyway, but I'm no longer trying to facilitate family time for my kids an him. Peace at last.
Life goes on. My new job is amazing and I love it. I work hard and long and I'm comfortable in my jammies or track pants and I love it. I find myself stretching my brain again and I enjoy stretching that particular muscle that I hadn't had to stretch and flex in so long. My kids enjoy seeing me home every day. I still go to the school some days to do their billing but not every day. I am home every day to pick the kids up so there is that. The smile that had been missing is back.
With the new job is a new bank roll. With this comes the freedom to fix things that have been needing attention for a while. I took Smudge in to get groomed finally, after a 6 year wait, only to find out she had breast cancer. She survived the double Mastectomy and is coming back strong and healthy. Call me what you will, but she is one of my children even if she is furry and I would have hated myself for not trying to make her better. She is doing much better now that she doesn't have painful lumps in her hind end restricting her movement.
Up next is getting the boy an iPad. I've been resisting getting technology for him to help with the reading, hoping that drive and teachers would fix the issue. It isn't. As of September his special program is gone as well. The school board has decided that kids don't need help in reading, because they should be learning in Kinder and grade 1 and not need the additional resources. BAH. Whatever. Their father said he would help. I'll take it. And I'll use the pad for myself as well. :)
It's honestly amusing to me that now that I'm no longer attempting to force a family...I am given peace from him. When we are together as a family, he smiles and laughs and even jokes like old times. Too bad he's killed all that loved him. Or I supposed thank goodness he's killed that person who cared. I still have moments where I cry for what I've lost, but I'm no longer crying for him and that my silent readers, is massive. That I can recognize the difference....enormous. I'm also getting help again for the scrambled eggs I call my brain. Maybe at the end of the year I'll be close to societies "normal"
Money in the bank, count down to Costa Rica is on. Today is April 8th. In exactly 8 months I will be there. I am hoping to have landed on the 6th. Usually travel on the T's is cheaper so cross your fingers. Either way I will be there. Money is secluded from the rest and gaining a pathetic amount of interest while I wait. Clock is ticking until I can book and be done.
This year is moving steadily upwards..........
Life goes on. My new job is amazing and I love it. I work hard and long and I'm comfortable in my jammies or track pants and I love it. I find myself stretching my brain again and I enjoy stretching that particular muscle that I hadn't had to stretch and flex in so long. My kids enjoy seeing me home every day. I still go to the school some days to do their billing but not every day. I am home every day to pick the kids up so there is that. The smile that had been missing is back.
With the new job is a new bank roll. With this comes the freedom to fix things that have been needing attention for a while. I took Smudge in to get groomed finally, after a 6 year wait, only to find out she had breast cancer. She survived the double Mastectomy and is coming back strong and healthy. Call me what you will, but she is one of my children even if she is furry and I would have hated myself for not trying to make her better. She is doing much better now that she doesn't have painful lumps in her hind end restricting her movement.
Up next is getting the boy an iPad. I've been resisting getting technology for him to help with the reading, hoping that drive and teachers would fix the issue. It isn't. As of September his special program is gone as well. The school board has decided that kids don't need help in reading, because they should be learning in Kinder and grade 1 and not need the additional resources. BAH. Whatever. Their father said he would help. I'll take it. And I'll use the pad for myself as well. :)
It's honestly amusing to me that now that I'm no longer attempting to force a family...I am given peace from him. When we are together as a family, he smiles and laughs and even jokes like old times. Too bad he's killed all that loved him. Or I supposed thank goodness he's killed that person who cared. I still have moments where I cry for what I've lost, but I'm no longer crying for him and that my silent readers, is massive. That I can recognize the difference....enormous. I'm also getting help again for the scrambled eggs I call my brain. Maybe at the end of the year I'll be close to societies "normal"
Money in the bank, count down to Costa Rica is on. Today is April 8th. In exactly 8 months I will be there. I am hoping to have landed on the 6th. Usually travel on the T's is cheaper so cross your fingers. Either way I will be there. Money is secluded from the rest and gaining a pathetic amount of interest while I wait. Clock is ticking until I can book and be done.
This year is moving steadily upwards..........
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