3 years......

Today is year three. For some reason instead of getting easier it's getting harder. I bawled today like I haven't since he died. Absolute ugly crying, snot, tears and all. I feel somewhat better but I'm still angry. Angry that he did that to himself, angry that I didn't forgive him sooner, angry that he wasn't a better dad or I a better daughter, and beyond angry that he never got to meet my son.

Will I ever feel better? Who knows. Will it ever get easier? Maybe, hopefully....

I'm getting a new tattoo on Thursday to remind myself of him and others that aren't here with me...

I really do miss you dad, and I'm not as strong as I put it out there to be.

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